


Remember Me

by Galahard



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Harry Hart Lives, M/M, Roxy and Merlin aren't in there a ton but they are there, There isn't a ton of shipping either, mostly at the end if you want to read and not have a ton of Hartwin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-11
Updated: 2015-03-11
Packaged: 2018-03-17 08:44:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3522893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Galahard/pseuds/Galahard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You’re safe Galahad. You’re at Kingsman headquarters.” The doctor was quick and succinct, leaning in a with a light to check pupil dilation.</p><p>“Galahad?” It was hard to see the older agent with the doctors busily trying to check what they could while their patient was still awake, but it was easy to hear Harry’s confusion. “Kingsman?”</p><p>Gratuitous amnesia fic</p>
            </blockquote>





	Remember Me

"Where the fuck is he?" Eggsy's voice was raw with desperation, a haunted look intensifying the circles under his eyes. He'd been off in Stirling when he's gotten the call, had bolted out of the Tesco where he'd been buying a post-mission celebratory bag of crisps, and he'd driven most the night. 

It was a bit past four in the morning, but Merlin didn't look a bit ruffled as he turned in his chair. "He's resting," the older man said quietly, “but we've got him in a room with a two-way mirror so you can see him. I need to warn you now Eggsy, he might never be able to walk again. He might never be the Galahad, the Harry, that we both know.”

Eggsy nodded his head jerkily, trailing after the magician through the hallways, feeling hope blossom in his chest though he knew he shouldn't let that feeling grow. Not yet.

Peering into the window, seeing the stubble that coated Harry's face, felt like he had been transported back in time. To just after Professor Arnold's head explosion and Harry's coma there.

It was hard trying to figure out if he should laugh or sob and in the end he simply leaned his head against the glass, closing his eyes and taking deep breaths as he let it all sink in.

\---------

There was no telling when Harry would wake up, and after a couple of nights Eggsy gave up sleeping in the observation room, moving up to the main house and even occasionally going out on missions, but nothing farther away than London. Harry would wake up when he was ready, that much he was sure of. He wouldn’t doubt Harry again. Harry had promised to come back and sort things, and he hadn’t believed him.

He’d never been happier to be proven wrong. 

Life went on. Bullets flying, people to seduce for information, grenades shaking the foundations under his feet. The only difference now was that he was that he actually concerned with his own safety, still throwing himself into his missions but with the intent to make it back in one piece, to live to see another day. He could see the knowing looks pass between Merlin and Roxy whenever they were in the same room together, but also the approval, the way the lines of worry Roxy sometimes wore around him as casually as her lipstick were starting to fade away.

Even his mum had picked up that something was different, chastising him for not coming home more often but smiling at him over the few dinners he made it over to their house for, teasing him gently but not look so distraught when he walked out the door. Reminding him to come home soon but not in the desperate way she’d taken on recently.

For the first time in a long time he felt like he could breathe. He even went so far as to stop by a florist on his way back to the manor, giving the completely gaudy and over the top bouquet to Roxy with his most sincere smile, trying to hide the twinkling in his eye as he let himself stumble over his words, telling her how much he appreciated her sticking up for him, helping pave his way into Kingsman.

It was worth it just to see the looks people gave her as she had to carry the hideous concoction through the hallways until she could hide it in her room, and only then did he start laughing, not even caring as she put him in a headlock.

Laughter. Real laughter. And his face hurt from smiling so much.

Then his phone buzzed in his pocket.

_Showing signs of waking up - M_

Roxy was craning to see the message and gave her a second to skim the line before offering her his arm with a grin, holding in a whistle as they wound through the manor to the basement, and from there to the small medical wing.

They were stuck behind the glass again, but he could see the faint stirrings, could watch the monitors as they ticked slightly faster, signalling that there was some reaction, some response. When Harry opened his eyes he closed his, savoring the proof that not only was Harry alive but that he wouldn’t spend the rest of his life simply breathing as machines pumped life into him.

He opened them again when he heard the hoarse rasp of Harry’s voice, the sound piped cleanly and neatly into the observation room. “Where am I?”

“You’re safe Galahad. You’re at Kingsman headquarters.” The doctor was quick and succinct, leaning in a with a light to check pupil dilation.

“Galahad?” It was hard to see the older agent with the doctors busily trying to check what they could while their patient was still awake, but it was easy to hear Harry’s confusion. “Kingsman?”

\---------

He had hoped the confusion would be something that disappeared in a few minutes as the grogginess wore off, or perhaps when Harry was able to confirm that this was truly headquarters and the doctors weren’t some sinister villains trying to get him to talk by seeming to be nice.

By the time Harry had fallen into a fitful sleep once again, but still Eggsy hadn’t given up hope. There was time enough to worry, Harry was a touch confused.

After the second time that he woke up and fell back asleep, no closer to showing a sign of knowing who or where he was, the tendrils of hope Eggsy had been using as lifelines began to slip out of reach.

\---------

“I don’t fucking know if I can do it,” Eggsy murmured, eyes locked on the door in front of him, feet refusing to budge.

“I didn’t know we’d knighted someone who gave up so easily,” Merlin commented back. “You’ve heard the doctors. Being around familiar faces and hearing familiar voices might help trigger a recovery, it may not. It might happen on it’s own or he may never regain his memories.” His voice softened and he put his hand on Eggsy’s shoulder, squeezing gently and Eggsy knew he was mimicking Harry. “If there’s even a chance to help Harry don’t you want to take it?”

Eggsy nodded, mostly to himself, then tilted his chin up, cockily taking the last few steps to the door. It wouldn't fool Merlin, he'd already displayed weakness, but it wasn't Merlin he was trying to convince. He was the one that needed the reassurance.

He strolled into the room, smiling when Harry looked at him, trying not to give in to the crushing weight of it all when there was no sign of recognition. "Cheers bruv. How you feeling today?"

The look Harry gave him was more than a bit judgmental, and he was surprised to find a bit of a real grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Fucking stupid question ain't it. Course you feel like shit. But on a scale of shitty to completely fucked up where you at?"

He jammed his hands in his pockets, rocking back on his heels.

"In between I suppose," Harry finally replied. "You're a bit different than the other--" his voice trailed off, uncertainty creeping in.

"Ain't no nurse if that's what you was thinking." He wanted to say something different, but they'd agreed on a cover story for a reason. "I come in every so often and help out around here, community service shit."

Harry seemed skeptical, but nodded regardless, and now Eggsy was in. "So you need something? A book? A game?"

"Did the sequel to _Die Hard_ ever come out?"

Eggsy couldn't ignore how hopeful Harry sounded, and he tried not to turn around and leave right then and there.

"Think there's a few," he offered. "I ain't never seen the first one so maybe we could watch a couple?"

"Next time perhaps," Harry murmured agreeably. "I think I'd like to rest now."

\---------

On his next visit Eggsy came equipped with a Kingsman issued iPad and all of the _Die Hard_ series downloaded, feeling both amused and helpless at Harry's reaction when he realized there were five.

\---------

He had his tablet primed and ready to go for the third movie as he walked into the room, equipped with trivia from the late 80s that harry would probably remember. Despite the forgetfulness there had been some relief to find that Harry was still Harry, a bit different, not quite so confident and a touch affronted at his language, but Harry was there in his quiet exasperation, in the calm way that he faced whatever was dealt to him.

“I know it’s late bruv, but I had a bit of time so I thought we’d watch the third film if you think you can stay awake through it.”

The words were already out of his mouth and he was almost to the bed before he noticed the startled, almost fearful look Harry was giving him. The older man recovered before he had time to fully process what he’d noticed. “I think you have the wrong room,” he said slowly, and Eggsy saw too late that he had pressed the button that signalled he needed help.

“Fuck. Wait, Harry, it’s me. It’s Eggsy. I was just here a couple of days ago?” He took a step toward him as the door opened behind him, and he didn’t expected the firm grip on his upper arm, tugging him toward the door. 

“Sir, you have a call,” the nurse intoned, and he was too stunned to resist, allowing himself to be hauled out to the hallway and then shown to the doctor’s office.

He recognized the doctor’s office, but he’d never actually met Morgana. So far it had been Merlin passing on the news of Harry’s recovery. “Sit down,” she said, motioning her arm toward an empty chair. His eyes caught on the fluttering fabric of her sari as it trailed after the movement, but he made no effort to have a seat. “Suit yourself. When Galahad was brought to us, we had limited knowledge of the full effects of the wound. We could surmise the damage, amnesia was certainly a possibility, but it was hard to tell what kind.

“I pulled the video feed as soon as his buzzer went off, and I saw the reaction he gave you. There are multiple forms of amnesia, did you know that agent? It was soon apparent that retrograde amnesia was what we were dealing with, though we could not rule out anterograde amnesia, the inability to remember things after the accident.”

He was finding it hard to breath, hard to focus, and he moved for a chair, sitting down heavily.

“It is very probable that this is temporary, or we probably would have seen more signs of it. I suspected we might be dealing with both forms when he seemed confused about whether he had eaten or not the other day, but your visit confirmed my suspicion. I believe Galahad will make progress, and this setback is just that, a setback.” 

She smiled at him, the first crack in her all business manner. “It’s good that he has those that are invested in trying to help him come back to us. Just give be patient with him.”

He didn’t know how to react, how to tell her that he wasn’t the patient type. How to tell her that he didn’t know if he could keep going in as a stranger with each visit.

\----------

They’d rewatched two of the films the last time he’d been in to visit. Harry had been pleasantly surprised when a seemingly random volunteer had brought him a movie he’d been looking forward to seeing, and when he realized there were five movies in the series Eggsy had to turn away so Harry wouldn’t catch the stricken look on his face. 

That visit had been a full week ago. He’d finally been unable to avoid being sent farther than London, and really he didn’t try to resist. Going up to the highlands was almost a relief, though he was still a bit antsy to get back, drawn like a moth to the flame even knowing what the flame could do. 

It was a nice day though, and rather than being stuck inside watching films he’d called ahead to let them know he’d be taking Harry outside. Merlin had seemed surprised, but pleased, a sentiment apparently shared by Morgana as she appeared herself to walk him down the hall and give him a series of instructions for taking her patient outside, ending by insisting that he put her direct number in his phone.

So far during his visits Harry had been propped up in the bed, once seated in the armchair. It felt odd to see him in a wheelchair, to face the reminder that the bullet had destroyed more than just his mind. 

Then Harry looked up, and Eggsy saw it. Saw the flicker of recognition in his eyes, the way he straightened, shoulders drawing back slightly, the curl of a smile at the corner of his lips. “Hello Eggsy.”

He let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding, not quite believing his ears.

“It is Eggsy isn’t in? You’re the one who was here last week?”

His smile faltered, and it took everything he had to keep standing there. He closed his eyes, giving himself a single second to collect his thoughts. This was for Harry. For _Harry_. The man who had plucked him out of a shitty life and given him a chance to be something.

“Yeah,” he said, nodding. “That’s right. Thought you’d might like to see if the sun was still the same as you remember it.”

“You mean it actually stopped raining?” Harry gave him a light smile and Eggsy huffed a laugh for his benefit before he moved behind the chair, maneuvering it through the doorway and steadily pushing it down the hall. At least from behind the chair Harry couldn’t see him, couldn’t see the broken look that slowly passed over his face as he focused on putting one foot in front of the other. 

To keep himself preoccupied he kept up a slow stream of conversation about where they were, what rooms were off to the side. Finally they reached the door that lead out to the gardens in the back, Harry immediately raising a hand to shield his eyes from the bright glare.

Pacing the gardens wasn’t exciting, but Harry seemed to enjoy it. “Do you see those orchids over there? My mother used to have some just like it, would you mind going a bit closer.” Eggsy complied, pushing the wheelchair through the grass as he’d quickly realized it was easier than the gravel, taking advantage of a bench just next to the orchids to sit down for a minute, resting with his head hanging back for a minute as Harry told some simple tale about unknowingly picking some of the prizewinning blooms as a child until his voice trailed off into silence.

It was almost comfortable between them. He could imagine different circumstances, Harry telling him the nonsensical meanings of the flowers, reinforcing each type with a tale of something personal so that Eggsy would remember it. And he would. Learning made sense when he was with Harry, something as seemingly ridiculous as making a martini suddenly having new meaning.

Whatever he had to do, whatever he had to go through, it was worth it to get that back. It had to be. Because nothing had mattered when Harry was gone.

He opened his eyes, stretching and popping his back, and Harry turned toward him. The look was back in his eyes, startled slightly afraid. “Shit. Harry, don’t do this. Don’t do this.”

He stood, and realized belatedly that it was the last thing he should have done.

“Don’t come any closer.” Harry’s words cut through him, freezing him where he was. Then Harry tried to stand, and the reality of his inability to do so seemed to panic him even more.

“Help! Guards?” Harry’s voice was rose, clearly panicked, and when Eggsy tried to hold out his hands, palms up in a gesture that he was safe, harmless, it only grew louder. “Anyone? Help!” 

A nurse appeared quickly, and Eggsy knew they must have been prepared for this possibility.

He watched silently as they approached, Harry trusting this stranger in a uniform as he kept casting fearful glances over at Eggsy while they wheeled him away.

\---------

“I don’t know if I can do it Rox. I can’t fucking deal with it.”

He couldn’t keep the sob out of his voice, grateful that Roxy had been the one that had come to find him. He don’t move as she stepped forward wordlessly, wrapping her arms around him in a hug that he desperately needed, and it was all he could do not to collapse against her. “I thought it would be enough if he was alive. It’s not enough. It’s not fucking enough.”

“You’ll get through this Eggsy, you’re strong.”

“I fucking can’t.”

She stepped back, and he didn’t blame her. He was weak and pathetic, and when he sensed her movement he winced, waiting for the inevitable blow.

Roxy put both of her hands on his shoulders, holding steady as she looked up at him. “You have to. Would Harry give up on you?”

He shook his head, not trusting himself to speak.

“Before we found out he was alive you told me he promised you he’d be back. He is. He just needs a little help.”

He nodded, keeping his head down as he tried to surreptitiously wipe his cheeks off with the sleeve of his jacket. “You’re the fucking best Roxy.”

Eggsy looked up in time to see her shrug and nod. “I get that a lot.”

\---------

He didn’t go back the next day. 

He couldn’t, not yet, but Merlin was able to find a mission for him, something that let him blow off a bit of steam and relax a little before returning back to headquarters, and he started fresh the day after that. 

It was a new day, a new introduction, and this time he brought _Trading Places_. Seeing the first two _Die Hard_ films twice was more than enough for now. Harry recognized the movie and didn’t say too much at the choice, simply making a few stray comments here and there, remembering it from when he’d seen it before. 

\--------

He closed the book and reached for his glass of water, gulping down half the glass before looking up. Harry smiled back at him. “You give the book character Eggsy. I certainly don’t remember it being this interesting before.”

It seemed odd, it was the first time Harry had said anything about reading this one before. “Sorry bruv, if I’d known you’d read this shit I’d have picked something different.” He’d just grabbed something off Harry’s bookshelf at his house to make sure he’d get something Harry would like, but he’d thought he’d grabbed something fairly new. 

“I don’t mind, it actually has a decent plot so it’s not complete shit.”

“Alright then. So, I got to go, I was supposed to be changed already. Same time tomorrow, yeah?”

“I’ll see you then.”

Eggsy stood, and made his way to the hall. The door had barely closed before Morgana swept out of a side corridor, nodding at him approvingly. “He’s better when you’re around,” she said, a seemingly random comment but from her it was anything but. “I don’t want to get your hopes up, but he hasn’t forgotten anything new in almost two weeks now. The chances of a relapse are lessening by the day.”

She disappeared as a crossway and he continued, refusing to let the hope that she had tried to give him grow into anything more than it was. An observation. Moving back toward where his wardrobe was, needing to change for a quick mission in the city, he found himself leafing through the pages of the book until he finally gave in, flipping to the front of the book.

Copyright 1991.

His breath caught and he stopped dead, staring at the page again, eyes flicking back and forth over the text.

First edition.

Harry didn’t remember things from about 1990 on. That was why they’d watched _Die Hard_. Why he didn’t remember joining Kingsman in the autumn of 1991. 

Harry remembered the plot. Harry remembered reading the book.

The hope he’d been trying to keep at bay surged to the surface.

\---------

He had been late on his mission but he’d had to tell Roxy and Merlin, and they’d all agreed that keeping things normal would be for the best. It was hard to read normally the next day, easier to make the promise to return, and he was quickly losing control in terms of not getting his hopes up, the temptation to ask Harry questions, to see what he remembered almost too great to resist.

What was even worse was when he went back the next day to read only to stand just outside the door, careful not to be seen as he heard Harry and Merlin inside, laughing as they swapped stories of being new recruits.

Harry was recovering he reminded himself. It was a process, not everything at once. He just had to wait his turn.

\--------

“You remind me of someone Eggsy.” Harry was looking at him, head tilted slightly to the side as if he was trying to puzzle through something. “A young man in the military I believe.” His forehead scrunched together, trying to figure it out, and Eggsy tried not to hold his breath, letting Harry work through it on his own, brain racing back to his marine photo that they’d appropriated for his dossier. 

“Ah yes. Lee Unwin. He showed such promise. Kingsman material if ever I saw it.”

Eggsy smiled and tried to hide when it turned into him biting his lip. 1997. He could work with that.

\--------

With his memories returning fairly rapidly, and his knowledge and the skills of being an agent mostly returned, they were finally allowing Harry to move upstairs. To a room with a proper bed and a proper window. Staff had been hard at work, converting the rooms Harry tended to appropriate when he stayed over into being handicap accessible, the lift installed well over a week before. Having money was a nice thing.

To celebrate all the Kingsman in the area had gathered for a formal dinner, not the way Eggsy would have preferred to celebrate, but for Harry he dressed specially for dinner, making his way down and trying not to pout when they wound up diagonal to each other. Somehow even Roxy was closer to Harry than he was, and something was wrong with that.”

They had just been served dessert when Harry got everyone’s attention, looking their way. “So, Roxy, I never did give you my congratulations on becoming the next Lancelot. It may seem a bit late but shall we have a toast?”

Everyone seemed to be in agreement, and Harry raised his glass into the air. “To Lancelot, lord knows it’s been too long since we’ve had a woman at this table.”

They all drank, but Eggsy’s eyes were on Harry, trying to will the older man to giving him a sign, any sort of sign, that it wasn’t just Roxy he’d remembered.

He’d known Eggsy first. That was how this went.

He was supposed to be before her.

Harry just gave him the same smile as he always did lately and turned to speak with Percival.

\--------

“Not going to be around for a few days,” he said, leaning against the doorway.

“Really? Are you going on a mission?”

“Yeah, ain’t no one else going to fit into this fucking group like me. Should be back by Tuesday.”

“Well be careful out there.” Harry looked at him, a bit perplexed. “I haven’t actually heard anyone call you a codename yet Eggsy. Do you have one?”

He shrugged. “Your guess is as good as mine. Guess they know they can’t fucking get rid of me and Merlin ain’t figured out what to do with me yet. Just a name though innit.”

“Still, they’ll have to come up with something for you. I don’t recall any Sir Eggsy’s at the round table. They’re probably just be waiting to determine the next Arthur and you’ll take that spot, or they’re waiting to see if they’ll have to take me off the table.” He gestured down to his legs, and Eggsy gave him an appalled look.

“They ain’t gonna do that. That’d be fucked up. You can probably kick more arse from your chair than most professional fighters.”

Harry laughed. “I appreciate that Eggsy. You’d best run along now, I don’t want you to be late. It reflects badly on me you know.”

“Yeah, suppose it does.” Eggsy started to turn before he stopped, head turning sharply as he me Harry’s eyes, saw the same comprehension dawning there.

“Harry?”

The older agent let out a huff of what sounded like disbelief. “Eggsy.”

“Did you mean to say that?” He could feel hope welling up in him, knew that if he’d misunderstood, misheard, that he might not recover from it this time. It was too close. 

“I didn’t mean to imply that you reflect badly on me,” Harry answered. “But if you’re asking if I remember my own protégé I’d have to say yes.”

He was frozen, unsure how to react now that the moment was finally here, could see that Harry was waiting on him to. Finally the older man shook his head, letting out a long sigh. “I’m sorry Eggsy. I was supposed to come back and sort out the candidacy mess and I’m afraid I did a rather shit job with my return.”

“You fucked it up,” Eggsy admitted, a half hysterical bark of laughter, or perhaps a sob escaping him.

“I did come back,” Harry murmured, waiting until he was sure Eggsy was paying attention before raising his voice slightly, speaking forcefully. “I will always come back.”

Down the hall he could hear Merlin calling his name, and the noise carried to Harry as well.

“If you’re not back by Tuesday I’m coming to get you myself,” he promised, and Eggsy had to smile at that, shaking his head.

“Don’t fucking worry so much, you’ll go grey.” He turned to go, glancing back in time to catch Harry brushing his fingers over his temples worriedly.

\--------

Sunday night he was back at HQ, walking in without a fucking clue of what he was doing. He was too accustomed to coming back here now rather than heading home, had taken the roads that led here without thinking.

He knew why he was here. Harry Hart was still the flame he was drawn to, the reason why he’d been so intent on his mission he’d finished it before even the optimistic estimates. But he had no fucking clue what to do with information.

The front door opened to him, the handle automatically scanning his fingerprints as he clasped it, and he knew what he was going to do. He was going to go to the room he normally stayed in when he had to sleep over, he was going to shower, and he was going to sleep without setting an alarm.

Everything else could be dealt with tomorrow. 

He couldn’t ignore the way his heart jolted in his chest as he heard a single word come from one of the drawing rooms as he passed.

“Eggsy.”

He backtracked a step, standing in the entryway as Harry set aside a book. “You’re back early.”

“You expect any less?” He tried for bravado, watching with a twist to his grin as Harry rolled his eyes, knowing it was mostly for show for both of them.

Then it fell to silence, and this time it wasn’t peaceful and easy. It was awkward, because he wasn’t sure how things stood anymore. He wasn’t just some kid coming by to visit, and he wasn’t just some student to be swept along. They weren’t quite equals, not in his eyes, there was still a lot he had to learn, but the balance had shifted.

“You know,” Harry started, the first to break the silence, “just because I remembered everything up to the church doesn’t mean I forgot the past couple of weeks.” His eyes were calculating, and Eggsy wasn’t trying to catch up, to get one step ahead, only to constantly be a half-step behind.

“The dates didn’t add up, so I had Merlin explain. Then Lancelot carved a bit of time out of her schedule to stop by to let me know just what she was capable of doing to me if I hurt you.”

He swallowed, “she wouldn’t,” he tried, and even saying it felt like a lie. “Well, she might. But you don’t have to worry about that.” 

“Of course not. I’ve never had an intention of hurting you Eggsy. Though I’m afraid I already have. I also know that I owe you a great deal of thanks.”

“It wasn’t a big deal.” He tried to brush it off, tried not to focus on it too much. All they had to do was get past this initial bit of awkwardness and they’d get everything else figured out soon enough.

“I’m afraid it is. I understand how trying it must have been for you to have been so nice. It must have been quite hard for you.”

The younger agent couldn’t help it. He laughed, shaking his head. “Sod off,” he said without any heat. This, this was what he had missed. Being with Harry was what he missed. It was just so easy because he didn’t have to change shit. He realized too late that he was grinning a bit too widely until it was too late.

“Are you going to stand around all day, or are you going to get over here and kiss me?” 

“Guess it’s better than a glass to the face,” he mused aloud, but he was already in motion, the invitation too hard to resist. And he didn’t really want to.

He bent down, hesitating slightly only to have Harry reaching up and grab a fistful of his shirt, yanking him down the rest of the way. He kissed Harry almost hungrily, greedy, and he didn’t stop until Harry’s lips were swollen enough that he’d remember this tomorrow, no matter what happened.

**Author's Note:**

> I love you guys :D Come visit me on tumblr if you want, I'm Galahard on there too!


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